Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell
you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about
it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
A man has! six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
" Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it! 's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to le ave as well. He shouts at the top
of his voice,
"Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says,
"And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
"what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
While sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Padraig remarked to a fellow club member',
‘I'm not going to play golf with Jim Lawler anymore. He cheats.'
'Why do you say that?' asked his friend.
'Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green', replied Padraig indignantly.
'That's entirely possible', commented his friend.
'Not when I had his golf ball in my pocket', retorted Padraig with finality.
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